I invite you to check out my new blog, and photos.
http://penciledlines.shutterfly.com/
Happy New Year!
Love,
Emma
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Friday, September 24, 2010
Where Did September Go?
Hello Orcas Island and family! :)
I can't believe how fast this month has gone!
It's been a hard month-academically, socially, spiritually... Many aspects of who I am have been tested and tried, and I know there is such growth in that. At the same time, it has also been a great month that is concluding the introduction to and the forming of my first impressions of United World College-USA.
On some Friday nights, we have "Global Issues", and tonight we talked about sustainability-what it means to be sustainable, how developing countries can grow in a sustainable way, ect. Someone mentioned that the failing economy was a direct result of not living in a sustainable way, and rather than viewing it as a hopeless circumstance, we can look at it as an opportunity to change the patterns of life before to a less impacting and healthier standard of living. It is a lot of fun to discuss issues that are prevalent in society with students from all over the world, because our perspectives and backgrounds are so diverse. There is always something to learn from the people sitting on either side of me.
Outside of classes, we do something called "CAS" which is a requirement for the International Baccalaureate curriculum. CAS means "Creative, Action, Service" and we spend a significant amount of time doing such activities each semester. Two weeks ago, I went to work at a homeless shelter that my school helps to run in a nearby town. The experience was almost surreal, serving food in a small musty house, and discussing things like jobs, education, and family with people that may not have known any of them. I got to talking with one man who's real skin was barely visible through layers of tattoos, and he told me about the years he spent in jail, and about an older woman who dedicated the last years of her life to helping him learn how to help himself. As he talked about her and the visits she made daily to the jail I couldn't help but wonder why someone would do that. When I left that night, everyone said "Come back soon, sister!" and reflecting on the interactions between the homeless people at the shelter, I remembered that they address each other with "brother" and "sister" in order to better identify themselves and feel a part of something. The woman visiting the man Alfred who I spoke with, in jail loved him so unconditionally and for no reason that she changed him-the genuine emotion she must have shared with him taught him to love, and the benefits from such an action continue to spread.
I have kept busy with a different activity every day of the week-Fridays I grab my helmet, harness, and shoes and go rockclimbing on a face near campus. Tomorrow I will begin to give tours of the historic Castle we now use for classes and dorms to the outside public. My favorite CAS however, is math tutoring at a local elementary school. This last week, I went with three other students representing Afghanistan, Japan, and Finland to tutor. It's great to see how enthusiastic the young kids get about hearing about new cultures-one of our favorite activities to do with them is count in each of our different languages.
I will do my best to write more soon :)
This is a photo of a team of friends on a weekend backpacking expedition to summit the highest peak in New Mexico. Almost all of us got some sort of altitude sickness at the top, but it was more than worth it for the view!
If you'd like to see more pictures of life at UWC-USA, here are a couple of links to my school website where they are posted from current events:
Welcoming Ceremony- https://www.uwc-usa.org/podium/default.aspx?t=52562&a=134142
A Video of Orientation at Ghost Ranch-
just from the photos you can get an idea of the diversity in the student body! https://www.uwc-usa.org/podium/tools/SlideShow.aspx?a=134989
Love,
E
I can't believe how fast this month has gone!
It's been a hard month-academically, socially, spiritually... Many aspects of who I am have been tested and tried, and I know there is such growth in that. At the same time, it has also been a great month that is concluding the introduction to and the forming of my first impressions of United World College-USA.
On some Friday nights, we have "Global Issues", and tonight we talked about sustainability-what it means to be sustainable, how developing countries can grow in a sustainable way, ect. Someone mentioned that the failing economy was a direct result of not living in a sustainable way, and rather than viewing it as a hopeless circumstance, we can look at it as an opportunity to change the patterns of life before to a less impacting and healthier standard of living. It is a lot of fun to discuss issues that are prevalent in society with students from all over the world, because our perspectives and backgrounds are so diverse. There is always something to learn from the people sitting on either side of me.
Outside of classes, we do something called "CAS" which is a requirement for the International Baccalaureate curriculum. CAS means "Creative, Action, Service" and we spend a significant amount of time doing such activities each semester. Two weeks ago, I went to work at a homeless shelter that my school helps to run in a nearby town. The experience was almost surreal, serving food in a small musty house, and discussing things like jobs, education, and family with people that may not have known any of them. I got to talking with one man who's real skin was barely visible through layers of tattoos, and he told me about the years he spent in jail, and about an older woman who dedicated the last years of her life to helping him learn how to help himself. As he talked about her and the visits she made daily to the jail I couldn't help but wonder why someone would do that. When I left that night, everyone said "Come back soon, sister!" and reflecting on the interactions between the homeless people at the shelter, I remembered that they address each other with "brother" and "sister" in order to better identify themselves and feel a part of something. The woman visiting the man Alfred who I spoke with, in jail loved him so unconditionally and for no reason that she changed him-the genuine emotion she must have shared with him taught him to love, and the benefits from such an action continue to spread.
I have kept busy with a different activity every day of the week-Fridays I grab my helmet, harness, and shoes and go rockclimbing on a face near campus. Tomorrow I will begin to give tours of the historic Castle we now use for classes and dorms to the outside public. My favorite CAS however, is math tutoring at a local elementary school. This last week, I went with three other students representing Afghanistan, Japan, and Finland to tutor. It's great to see how enthusiastic the young kids get about hearing about new cultures-one of our favorite activities to do with them is count in each of our different languages.
I will do my best to write more soon :)
This is a photo of a team of friends on a weekend backpacking expedition to summit the highest peak in New Mexico. Almost all of us got some sort of altitude sickness at the top, but it was more than worth it for the view!
If you'd like to see more pictures of life at UWC-USA, here are a couple of links to my school website where they are posted from current events:
Welcoming Ceremony- https://www.uwc-usa.org/podium/default.aspx?t=52562&a=134142
A Video of Orientation at Ghost Ranch-
just from the photos you can get an idea of the diversity in the student body! https://www.uwc-usa.org/podium/tools/SlideShow.aspx?a=134989
Love,
E
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
UWC-USA
The first couple of weeks here at the Armand Hammer United World College have been a bit chaotic. I look back to the first few days here-staying up until 3AM to wait for the last bus to arrive at the castle from the airport carrying onboard other students from around the world, meeting my roommate from Sweden, going to church with three friends and representing four continents, fasting for Ramadan to support my Muslim friends, discussing atheism with a Pakistani, an Israli, and a friend from the UK. It's taken me a couple of moments of standing still and breathing deep while everything happens around me to center myself and prepare for the journey I embark on now; a journey unlike anything I have ever done and probably will ever do. I just got back from a backpacking expedition with ten people including myself, representing ten countries. When isolated in the mountains of New Mexico there is a lot you can learn. Like different sleep patterns other cultures have for example-I woke up much too early one morning to Andrew, from Uganda, blowing a whistle telling me that the day "HAS BEGAN!"
Many of my "co-years" do not speak English well yet, but we do our best to communicate. School started today, and it started slowly. We are taking the time to get to know the different ways everyone has been taught and how to learn in the diverse fashion we do. It's amazing to sit in a classroom with students from around the world-but even more amazing to know most of the learning is not going on in the classroom.
We had a "Welcoming Ceremony" last night, where everyone dresses up in their national costume and we have a fancy dinner in the Castle. My co-first-years and I sat at tables in the Castle dining room (that looks somewhat familiar to the dining room in the Harry Potter movies :)) waiting for the second-years to join us. My eyes wandered from the stained glass windows to the other wandering eyes of a Canadian and a Belarussian, until I saw a flag wave in the doorway.
"Afghanistan".
..Someone read into the microphone. Afghanistan's ambassador walked down middle of the dinning room as people cheered him on. Seventy or so countries later down the alphabet, Stuart, representing the U.S. and Japan walked down the middle of the room, which now had waving flags encircling us at our tables, carrying a flag that read "United World College". I thought about my diverse friends that had carried their flags and saw it beautiful that though they are from a culture so different from my own, they are still unique in their personalities. They are soccer players, and comedians, musicians and mathematicians..and they are here teaching me about their culture, and learning from my culture in order to for us to create a more peaceful world of understanding. After dinner, we were led outside to where there were candles lit around the flags on the lawn outside the Castle. The second-year students were holding hands and me and my class held hands behind them, creating a circle that could sing "We are the world.." and have it be true. After a few words from the school president and students, I was more or less "inducted" to the United World College community. We then joined the circles that made up the first and second year class. I held the hand of a friend from Lebanon and Sweden, and looked at the Africans joined with the Germans, and the Mexicans with the Australians. I thought of church my first Sunday here with my friends from three other continents and listening to what I thought was a confused pastor speaking about how Islam is wrong, Hinduism is wrong, Buddisim is wrong. He seemed to believe that what he thinks is right and no other beliefs are. And I think that is where we go wrong. Looking around a circle with dominating peaceful hearts, I could see it doesn't matter what we put down on paper, what we read, and I'd go so far to say even what we do. It's who we choose to be, and really BE when we are alone and in our own thoughts. It's the love we find inside ourselves that is the love of God, forever forgiving and willing. If we choose to open our hearts, we will find God there. We will find Him everywhere. Even in the atheists. I let go of the hands in that circle and realized I am a part of something much bigger than me-something that is bigger than that entire circle though still prevalent in it and that is the love of God.
This is the a guys dorm in front of the Castle, at the Welcoming Ceremony.
The Japanese ambassadors with their flag.
I can't write much longer, but I hope to write more soon!
With love,
Emma
Many of my "co-years" do not speak English well yet, but we do our best to communicate. School started today, and it started slowly. We are taking the time to get to know the different ways everyone has been taught and how to learn in the diverse fashion we do. It's amazing to sit in a classroom with students from around the world-but even more amazing to know most of the learning is not going on in the classroom.
We had a "Welcoming Ceremony" last night, where everyone dresses up in their national costume and we have a fancy dinner in the Castle. My co-first-years and I sat at tables in the Castle dining room (that looks somewhat familiar to the dining room in the Harry Potter movies :)) waiting for the second-years to join us. My eyes wandered from the stained glass windows to the other wandering eyes of a Canadian and a Belarussian, until I saw a flag wave in the doorway.
"Afghanistan".
..Someone read into the microphone. Afghanistan's ambassador walked down middle of the dinning room as people cheered him on. Seventy or so countries later down the alphabet, Stuart, representing the U.S. and Japan walked down the middle of the room, which now had waving flags encircling us at our tables, carrying a flag that read "United World College". I thought about my diverse friends that had carried their flags and saw it beautiful that though they are from a culture so different from my own, they are still unique in their personalities. They are soccer players, and comedians, musicians and mathematicians..and they are here teaching me about their culture, and learning from my culture in order to for us to create a more peaceful world of understanding. After dinner, we were led outside to where there were candles lit around the flags on the lawn outside the Castle. The second-year students were holding hands and me and my class held hands behind them, creating a circle that could sing "We are the world.." and have it be true. After a few words from the school president and students, I was more or less "inducted" to the United World College community. We then joined the circles that made up the first and second year class. I held the hand of a friend from Lebanon and Sweden, and looked at the Africans joined with the Germans, and the Mexicans with the Australians. I thought of church my first Sunday here with my friends from three other continents and listening to what I thought was a confused pastor speaking about how Islam is wrong, Hinduism is wrong, Buddisim is wrong. He seemed to believe that what he thinks is right and no other beliefs are. And I think that is where we go wrong. Looking around a circle with dominating peaceful hearts, I could see it doesn't matter what we put down on paper, what we read, and I'd go so far to say even what we do. It's who we choose to be, and really BE when we are alone and in our own thoughts. It's the love we find inside ourselves that is the love of God, forever forgiving and willing. If we choose to open our hearts, we will find God there. We will find Him everywhere. Even in the atheists. I let go of the hands in that circle and realized I am a part of something much bigger than me-something that is bigger than that entire circle though still prevalent in it and that is the love of God.
This is the a guys dorm in front of the Castle, at the Welcoming Ceremony.
The Japanese ambassadors with their flag.
I can't write much longer, but I hope to write more soon!
With love,
Emma
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The Poetry of Life
If I were to collect photographs and videos of my growing up, I’m sure I could build a better explanation for why I define myself the way I do. I could retrace memories with my fingers along worn picture frames. Maybe the lack of explanation for my being, the unnamed emotions that brought me to where I am alone is what defines me. I’m curious about the fall I chose not to play soccer, the time I missed my flight home from Costa Rica, and the people that came into my life as if on a jaunt who changed my perspectives. What could’ve been?
I opened a fading magazine from it’s spot in the sunlight in a rustic store in Mexico. It gleamed with many offers, but the best was it’s offer for me waste away the time until we could finish shopping, check out, say our last “buenas noches”. In the middle of my mindless time-killing, a glossy ad caught my eye. It showed the sunset across rough waters and a sandy beach-the orange in the sky flowing as if it was painted by a child’s watercolors-and taunted me: “This could be the best day of your life”. As I looked more closely at the ad I found that it could be the best day of my life IF I enjoyed a cruise on the clear water. Still, the ad spoke to me. The time I had spent inside the magazine’s faded cover seconds ago, I had happily viewed as “killed”, now fit the real, sad definition of the word; lost and gone. Time so quickly goes from present to gone, with the potential it continually offers me to have a great day, maybe the “best day”. Can we narrow all definitions of life down to one word, the common ground and familiar scarcity of time? It is all we really have.
I met a man when I was surfing recently and enjoyed arguing perspectives, sharing the differences in our lifestyles, and learning, despite all of our differences. While debating whether the East Coast or West Coast of the states was “better” (he was arguing the West Coast was, so I of course took my position on the contrary) he told me he noted people on the East Coast ask “What do you do for a living?” where people on the West Coast ask “What do you do to live? I wondered what an Oaklahomian would ask, while taking these questions into consideration. Both questions do imply one thing-life. That we are alive, living, and impacting the world we live in. How I live makes a difference. A difference to me of course, but regarding numbers, I am unimportant compared to all the other lives that benefit or perish from my choices, which is ultimately the answer to the question of how I live. Choice.
The wonder of choice scares me. Holds me back and weighs down on me while I let the wonder dominate my curiousity. Every day, I am expected to make a choice to wake up, get dressed, go to school, eat dinner, ect. And every day, there is the opportunity for more. There is always so much more. I learned about “more” when I learned spontaneity but it doesn’t happen that way for everyone. An indigenous Costa Rican man Miguel discovered “more” when he discovered money. He defined the word “more” the way many people do in Western culture. My friend Eric was born in a small town in Wales and “more” was plane tickets, bus rides, and more plane rides away in cultures new to him. “More” is like life and defined thousands of ways. Still, “more” is a decision. One I try to make daily to move forward and make choices that prevail to define the word for me.
Often when I make a choice, I expect and long for closure while I transition. When I asked Maddy what “life” is, she said “the game”. Pink and blue people moving in coloured cars at the spin of a wheel where you stop, but only to let another person go. Life is poetry, music, water-flowing without pause because it is more beautiful that way. The closure I longed for all year from home never happened because I decided definitely to go to Costa Rica five days before my plane took off and now it seems too late to say goodbye to home when I feel unsure where to even call “home” anymore. I know God did this for a reason to teach me about how open life is. When it feels like every door has slammed shut behind me after I walk through it, I can know it is only emotion coercing me into a form of nostalgia and second guessing because God says nothing is out of reach. Choice is opportunity and never closure. Someone noted to me once that when you ask a child if he/she can draw they will most likely reply with an enthusiastic “YES!” whereas a few years later as an adult they are more likely to reply “No.” Why? Is it us, scared we won’t be good enough, or is it society declaring we aren’t? My stick people may not resemble a real person’s dynamic face, but I think if God were peering over at my artwork, He would call it beautiful because it is my own perspective. If you ask 100 people to paint the same sunset, no one will look the same. The way every person defines our world is different because no perspective is the same. No one else can even see the exact same color blue as I do when they look at the water, we all see it the slightest bit differently. I see God sitting in heaven painting our varied beliefs, personalities, and view of the world to contrast like all the colors in that sunset to create peace in the beauty He sees.
God knows us so personally. He knows our every choice, and every way we differ from each other. We are His own masterpieces and I love to picture Him smiling down on us daily as we interact. The more I look for it I see God is romanticizing about us, and writing our stories down in His language. We are more than just names or words because we have a purpose and it’s so abstract. We are His poetry.
I opened a fading magazine from it’s spot in the sunlight in a rustic store in Mexico. It gleamed with many offers, but the best was it’s offer for me waste away the time until we could finish shopping, check out, say our last “buenas noches”. In the middle of my mindless time-killing, a glossy ad caught my eye. It showed the sunset across rough waters and a sandy beach-the orange in the sky flowing as if it was painted by a child’s watercolors-and taunted me: “This could be the best day of your life”. As I looked more closely at the ad I found that it could be the best day of my life IF I enjoyed a cruise on the clear water. Still, the ad spoke to me. The time I had spent inside the magazine’s faded cover seconds ago, I had happily viewed as “killed”, now fit the real, sad definition of the word; lost and gone. Time so quickly goes from present to gone, with the potential it continually offers me to have a great day, maybe the “best day”. Can we narrow all definitions of life down to one word, the common ground and familiar scarcity of time? It is all we really have.
I met a man when I was surfing recently and enjoyed arguing perspectives, sharing the differences in our lifestyles, and learning, despite all of our differences. While debating whether the East Coast or West Coast of the states was “better” (he was arguing the West Coast was, so I of course took my position on the contrary) he told me he noted people on the East Coast ask “What do you do for a living?” where people on the West Coast ask “What do you do to live? I wondered what an Oaklahomian would ask, while taking these questions into consideration. Both questions do imply one thing-life. That we are alive, living, and impacting the world we live in. How I live makes a difference. A difference to me of course, but regarding numbers, I am unimportant compared to all the other lives that benefit or perish from my choices, which is ultimately the answer to the question of how I live. Choice.
The wonder of choice scares me. Holds me back and weighs down on me while I let the wonder dominate my curiousity. Every day, I am expected to make a choice to wake up, get dressed, go to school, eat dinner, ect. And every day, there is the opportunity for more. There is always so much more. I learned about “more” when I learned spontaneity but it doesn’t happen that way for everyone. An indigenous Costa Rican man Miguel discovered “more” when he discovered money. He defined the word “more” the way many people do in Western culture. My friend Eric was born in a small town in Wales and “more” was plane tickets, bus rides, and more plane rides away in cultures new to him. “More” is like life and defined thousands of ways. Still, “more” is a decision. One I try to make daily to move forward and make choices that prevail to define the word for me.
Often when I make a choice, I expect and long for closure while I transition. When I asked Maddy what “life” is, she said “the game”. Pink and blue people moving in coloured cars at the spin of a wheel where you stop, but only to let another person go. Life is poetry, music, water-flowing without pause because it is more beautiful that way. The closure I longed for all year from home never happened because I decided definitely to go to Costa Rica five days before my plane took off and now it seems too late to say goodbye to home when I feel unsure where to even call “home” anymore. I know God did this for a reason to teach me about how open life is. When it feels like every door has slammed shut behind me after I walk through it, I can know it is only emotion coercing me into a form of nostalgia and second guessing because God says nothing is out of reach. Choice is opportunity and never closure. Someone noted to me once that when you ask a child if he/she can draw they will most likely reply with an enthusiastic “YES!” whereas a few years later as an adult they are more likely to reply “No.” Why? Is it us, scared we won’t be good enough, or is it society declaring we aren’t? My stick people may not resemble a real person’s dynamic face, but I think if God were peering over at my artwork, He would call it beautiful because it is my own perspective. If you ask 100 people to paint the same sunset, no one will look the same. The way every person defines our world is different because no perspective is the same. No one else can even see the exact same color blue as I do when they look at the water, we all see it the slightest bit differently. I see God sitting in heaven painting our varied beliefs, personalities, and view of the world to contrast like all the colors in that sunset to create peace in the beauty He sees.
God knows us so personally. He knows our every choice, and every way we differ from each other. We are His own masterpieces and I love to picture Him smiling down on us daily as we interact. The more I look for it I see God is romanticizing about us, and writing our stories down in His language. We are more than just names or words because we have a purpose and it’s so abstract. We are His poetry.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Steps and Mountains...
I thought I would send a quick note to let those of you who have prayed for or supported me that I received news yesterday that I have been accepted to be an ambassador for the United States as a Davis Merit Scholar at Armand Hammer United World College.
This means I will spend the next two years there studying the International Baccalaureate curriculum with 200 students from 97 different countries. I will be learning about things from Theory of Knowledge to global issues in an environment that thrives off of its diversity.
I’m so excited about that God is beginning to open doors and show me what he has in store for. I was running the other morning and stopped to look out at the huge mountains that surrounded me, and the way the sun was beginning to rise out on Nicoya. I listened to the song “The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets and was overwhelmed by emotions when I heard the words
“Be strong in the lord and never give up hope. Your going to do great things, I already know. Gods got his hand on you so don’t live life in fear. Forgive and forget but don’t forget why you’re here. Take your time to pray, these are the words I would say.”
These are the words I had always heard from God, from my family, and from the community that holds me on Orcas…those are the words that held a strong foundation under me when I was shaking. When I looked out at those big mountains, I was in awe that God made them with His hands. They suddenly didn’t seem so impossible to believe or too big too conquer, because I have that Man that made them in me... I could feel the wonder of God in his vast creativity when he made the earth, and the sun came over the mountains, hitting the gulf miles away. I doubt I will ever experience perfection, but I seem the closest when I am being honest. When there is only genuine honesty, it seems to be when we can best learn about the perfection we find in God. That sunrise was the most beautiful image I’ve ever seen, and I’ll keep it in my mind forever. I heard the words “don’t forget why you’re here” and knew God had me has for a reason, a new one every day. I don’t doubt the reason it was the most beautiful I’ve ever seen is because I saw it alone. There was such contentment in solitude at that moment, without feeling alone, that I knew God was there. I know He’s been with me all along.
God has so many plans for us and it really does just take stepping out to where we are uncomfortable and lost that we find Him. The only thing stopping me from my dreams was I. Being out of my comfort zone for a long period of time has been the most powerful experience I’ve ever had. When I went back to the states for my interview with United World College I just cried for like my first few days home. My guard was completely down and there was no one I had to be brave for anymore, including and especially myself. Still, there was nothing better than coming back and putting on my confident shoes because once I wear them enough I don’t even realize I have them on anymore and that confidence becomes a little more part of who I am. Every time I see those mountains, I’m just as in awe, but a little less afraid because I have a great, humbling God in me that is bigger than them. I watch the mountains continue to get smaller and smaller as I grow.
I'm posting the lyrics to a song I wrote called Step, that tells a bit about how I've felt lately about trusting God.
Step
Verse:
I learned a lot by observation
What to, and not to do
I counted stars at night
Wondering how they shine through
All this to be surpassed
With brilliance of things I never knew
I took a walk down a narrow road called my life
I took a look around to see what I could find
There I found
A Man with an offering
And seemingly He'd been standing there
All along
Chorus:
A tell-tale of life
Starts with one
Step
Without promise it won't be hard
There's no catch that says
You won't fall down sometimes
Step
There's always a hand to balance
To hold while we dance
As we step in time to this life
Verse:
There're people who believe in love and those who have opinions
There're faces elderly with lots of worldly wisdom
Where to guide us for each New Year's resolution?
Aren't we defined by our observations?
Where to begin if we say every day is a new day?
Each step, another chance
formed by what is, a backwards glace
Chorus
Bridge:
Each step was deeply pondered
Before your birth
Still each one directly impacts this earth
There are steps you'll learn were wrong
But they're the ones that wrote this song
Chorus
Thank you for your prayers and support.
Love always,
E
This means I will spend the next two years there studying the International Baccalaureate curriculum with 200 students from 97 different countries. I will be learning about things from Theory of Knowledge to global issues in an environment that thrives off of its diversity.
I’m so excited about that God is beginning to open doors and show me what he has in store for. I was running the other morning and stopped to look out at the huge mountains that surrounded me, and the way the sun was beginning to rise out on Nicoya. I listened to the song “The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets and was overwhelmed by emotions when I heard the words
“Be strong in the lord and never give up hope. Your going to do great things, I already know. Gods got his hand on you so don’t live life in fear. Forgive and forget but don’t forget why you’re here. Take your time to pray, these are the words I would say.”
These are the words I had always heard from God, from my family, and from the community that holds me on Orcas…those are the words that held a strong foundation under me when I was shaking. When I looked out at those big mountains, I was in awe that God made them with His hands. They suddenly didn’t seem so impossible to believe or too big too conquer, because I have that Man that made them in me... I could feel the wonder of God in his vast creativity when he made the earth, and the sun came over the mountains, hitting the gulf miles away. I doubt I will ever experience perfection, but I seem the closest when I am being honest. When there is only genuine honesty, it seems to be when we can best learn about the perfection we find in God. That sunrise was the most beautiful image I’ve ever seen, and I’ll keep it in my mind forever. I heard the words “don’t forget why you’re here” and knew God had me has for a reason, a new one every day. I don’t doubt the reason it was the most beautiful I’ve ever seen is because I saw it alone. There was such contentment in solitude at that moment, without feeling alone, that I knew God was there. I know He’s been with me all along.
God has so many plans for us and it really does just take stepping out to where we are uncomfortable and lost that we find Him. The only thing stopping me from my dreams was I. Being out of my comfort zone for a long period of time has been the most powerful experience I’ve ever had. When I went back to the states for my interview with United World College I just cried for like my first few days home. My guard was completely down and there was no one I had to be brave for anymore, including and especially myself. Still, there was nothing better than coming back and putting on my confident shoes because once I wear them enough I don’t even realize I have them on anymore and that confidence becomes a little more part of who I am. Every time I see those mountains, I’m just as in awe, but a little less afraid because I have a great, humbling God in me that is bigger than them. I watch the mountains continue to get smaller and smaller as I grow.
I'm posting the lyrics to a song I wrote called Step, that tells a bit about how I've felt lately about trusting God.
Step
Verse:
I learned a lot by observation
What to, and not to do
I counted stars at night
Wondering how they shine through
All this to be surpassed
With brilliance of things I never knew
I took a walk down a narrow road called my life
I took a look around to see what I could find
There I found
A Man with an offering
And seemingly He'd been standing there
All along
Chorus:
A tell-tale of life
Starts with one
Step
Without promise it won't be hard
There's no catch that says
You won't fall down sometimes
Step
There's always a hand to balance
To hold while we dance
As we step in time to this life
Verse:
There're people who believe in love and those who have opinions
There're faces elderly with lots of worldly wisdom
Where to guide us for each New Year's resolution?
Aren't we defined by our observations?
Where to begin if we say every day is a new day?
Each step, another chance
formed by what is, a backwards glace
Chorus
Bridge:
Each step was deeply pondered
Before your birth
Still each one directly impacts this earth
There are steps you'll learn were wrong
But they're the ones that wrote this song
Chorus
Thank you for your prayers and support.
Love always,
E
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Quick Updates
It's been a long time since I last wrote, so I thought I would give you some updates.
I arrived back in Costa Rica about two weeks ago after my time in the states. I went straight to the Caribbean Coast to do my Junior Project with an indigenous tribe of people called BriBri. I learned so much while I was there and it's hard to fit into the short amount of time I have to write. I feel to blessed to have gotten to see a culture that lives on less than $1 a day, how the United Nations says 80% of the world lives. The indigenous people didn't recognize that they were in poverty until Western culture began to influence them, because by their standards, they weren't in poverty. I wrote an essay about poverty once, and while writing it, I realized I have no place to define it. The people who are IN it are the only ones who can say what it is like, and they are often the least heard. I spent time in BriBri with a 16 and 13 year old the majority of the time, showing me around. They both were attending public school and were curious as to why they learned things like algebra and European history when it's so irrelevant to their lives. They are two of very few indigenous children that attend school. The education the indigenous children need is about the medicinal plants around them, the stories of elders, and how to weave palm leaves to construct a house. Western culture is not survival to them, because money hasn't met anything until now. The indigenous culture of BriBri is beginning to collide with Western culture and the indigenous people are losing their traditions. I loved spending a week their learning about cultural differences and I hope to go back again to continue to ask the many questions my project raised.
The SUN is going away...the three months of summer in Monteverde ended and now it is "winter" again...today there was a loud tropical rainstorm in the afternoon and I think this will be a constant for my last few months here.
Costa Rica has come up with new traffic laws and have been reinforcing them. With exceptions...I climbed in the back of a truck with a few other people, and everyone in the front was on each others laps. The "trafico" watched us pack in like sardines and as we drove away from him, the driver of my car waved and the trafico smiled back with a huge thumbs up. The government is also considering changing the laws about drunk driving, because some of the best soccer players have been thrown in jail and couldn't play in the games, and even the government officials are big fans of Costa Rica's soccer team and don't want to be blamed for any losses.
I was thinking about BEAUTY the other day, where I find beauty, and what beauty is. I thought about beauty in nature and in words, and then in love. Love is like beauty in the way that it looks and feels different to everyone
I thought I would just send a quick HELLO to everyone, and a few updates on what I've been up to.
Thank you to all of those who donated to the Monteverde Friends School for the Walk-A-Thon, it was a big success and a lot of fun!
I arrived back in Costa Rica about two weeks ago after my time in the states. I went straight to the Caribbean Coast to do my Junior Project with an indigenous tribe of people called BriBri. I learned so much while I was there and it's hard to fit into the short amount of time I have to write. I feel to blessed to have gotten to see a culture that lives on less than $1 a day, how the United Nations says 80% of the world lives. The indigenous people didn't recognize that they were in poverty until Western culture began to influence them, because by their standards, they weren't in poverty. I wrote an essay about poverty once, and while writing it, I realized I have no place to define it. The people who are IN it are the only ones who can say what it is like, and they are often the least heard. I spent time in BriBri with a 16 and 13 year old the majority of the time, showing me around. They both were attending public school and were curious as to why they learned things like algebra and European history when it's so irrelevant to their lives. They are two of very few indigenous children that attend school. The education the indigenous children need is about the medicinal plants around them, the stories of elders, and how to weave palm leaves to construct a house. Western culture is not survival to them, because money hasn't met anything until now. The indigenous culture of BriBri is beginning to collide with Western culture and the indigenous people are losing their traditions. I loved spending a week their learning about cultural differences and I hope to go back again to continue to ask the many questions my project raised.
The SUN is going away...the three months of summer in Monteverde ended and now it is "winter" again...today there was a loud tropical rainstorm in the afternoon and I think this will be a constant for my last few months here.
Costa Rica has come up with new traffic laws and have been reinforcing them. With exceptions...I climbed in the back of a truck with a few other people, and everyone in the front was on each others laps. The "trafico" watched us pack in like sardines and as we drove away from him, the driver of my car waved and the trafico smiled back with a huge thumbs up. The government is also considering changing the laws about drunk driving, because some of the best soccer players have been thrown in jail and couldn't play in the games, and even the government officials are big fans of Costa Rica's soccer team and don't want to be blamed for any losses.
I was thinking about BEAUTY the other day, where I find beauty, and what beauty is. I thought about beauty in nature and in words, and then in love. Love is like beauty in the way that it looks and feels different to everyone
I thought I would just send a quick HELLO to everyone, and a few updates on what I've been up to.
Thank you to all of those who donated to the Monteverde Friends School for the Walk-A-Thon, it was a big success and a lot of fun!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Learning to be me
I remember when I first arrived in Costa Rica, months ago now; I sat on the porch of a small hostel with my dad. He would go with me to the town where I was to live for the next few months that day where we would both see it for the first time. When we sat on the porch I looked out to see tin roofs and clotheslines, trash on the streets, and people crowding sidewalks where if I were to walk, I would not look like the crowd. There were spiral stairs that climbed down from the porch and I remember my dad told me that when I went down them, no matter what happens, I would be changed. Everything that occurs after that will be a memory, profound or not, that will define me one day. He was right. At Christmas, I stayed at the same hostel before catching my flight home, and I saw those stairs but I didn’t go up them…i just observed them from a distance and remembered what my dad had told me. I felt a lot of things had changed in me since then. This week I will be flying home to do an interview I received with United World College, and I look forward to passing by the same stairs to say a quick hello as I say goodbye for a short time to the Emma that lives in Costa Rica. I have spent almost seven months living and traveling within Central America, the large majority of it in Costa Rica, and I have lost all definitions I had of home. I feel accustomed to living in a third world country, and seeing poverty daily. It was sadness in my former eyes but now it’s my life. I speak Spanish, my second language, on a daily basis to convey my needs, and it feels the same as my first. I eat breakfast with my Costa Rican family, help my little brothers get ready for school, and converse about life experiences that are so differente though I never feel there’s not common ground-there always is. I’ve grown to trust public transportation that costs less than $8 to go across the country, and to trust the police, though they aren’t always trustworthy. I’ve met inspiring people in the funniest nooks and crannies of my travels and experiences; not surprising that the most interesting people are experiencing unique things. I’ve concluded a lot about myself, and defined my self in a new way-who I am when I am alone. In these months I’ve immersed myself with new groups of people of all ages and backgrounds, different activities, and found new interests and a deeper faith that I’ve grounded myself in for no one else’s watching eyes or expectations. In these months I’ve learned to be me.
I was walking home from town last week, and I saw signs informing me that there was construction on the road going on ahead. I was surprised that people were attempting to fix Monteverde’s broken dirt roads. When I was in sight of workers covered in dirt in neon vests, I read a sign the same shape and font as the others that said things like “work ahead” that read “Mejoramos su calidad de vida”. Which means like “We better your quality of life”. What the sign read contrasted with what I saw that it announced, but still it was beautiful. Making someone’s life a little better starts the moment you are exposed and dirty and accept it while others pass by.
I was walking home from town last week, and I saw signs informing me that there was construction on the road going on ahead. I was surprised that people were attempting to fix Monteverde’s broken dirt roads. When I was in sight of workers covered in dirt in neon vests, I read a sign the same shape and font as the others that said things like “work ahead” that read “Mejoramos su calidad de vida”. Which means like “We better your quality of life”. What the sign read contrasted with what I saw that it announced, but still it was beautiful. Making someone’s life a little better starts the moment you are exposed and dirty and accept it while others pass by.
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